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Dream Board or Dream Bored?

Posted on 1st January, 2018

dream board, goal setting, new year resolutions



I'm quite proud of myself this year ('this year' being today, 30 December 2017) because I've prepared a 'dream board' and it's not even 1 January 2018 yet. I was first introduced to the concept of dream boards about ten years ago.  At first I thought they were a little whacky, but then lots of personal development books I read talked about how people who documented their goals and dreams by putting pen to paper were much more likely to achieve them than people who just thought about them, so I decided to give it a go.


The books I read all seemed to say be really specific in your goal.  Describe what you want to achieve down to the last detail and set a date to achieve it by and even better, get a picture to go with it.  An example given was listing the make, model, color and style of a car you would like and the date you set yourself to achieve your goal of getting the car and driving it home.


I tried this approach for a few years, but I had two major problems with it.


First, for whatever reason,  I found that I was not that motivated by getting specific things like a car. Why I'm not motivated by material gain is probably a topic for another day, but I wasn't so excited by goals like this that I would do whatever it took to achieve them. I went through the motions of writing things down but never felt like I could really emotionally connect with the goal.


The second problem was having to name a specific date by which I would achieve the goal. I know I don't like not being able to do something (which could also be called failing if I look at it negatively). In fact it frustrates my hugely.  I also know that I have high expectations and can be quite hard on myself so when I didn't achieve a goal by a certain date, I felt like I'd failed and it made me feel frustrated. I would also compare myself to other colleagues who had achieved and think, 'If they can do it, why can't I?  What's wrong with me?'  Thoughts like this demotivate me so I then feel even less inclined to work towards a goal.


I can recall quite vividly one day opening up my wardrobe where I'd got my goals pinned up on a large piece of poster paper. I looked at them and just started ripping them off the door and tearing them up.  I'd had enough of this goal setting stuff. It didn't work. I never achieved my goals. What's the point? It only ended in tears.  Maybe people who just wander aimlessly through life have it right.  Perhaps I should just live in the moment and be content with that.


I did try that for a while - or maybe I just wallowed in my self pity party until I'd had enough of that phase.  I knew all this goal setting stuff wasn't wrong, but I knew that the way I was doing it wasn't working for me.  I don't remember actually actively setting out to find a new way, but as often happens, when you're open to new ideas, another path appears.  The saying goes, 'When the student is ready, the teacher will appear.'  And so it was that around this time, a colleague I met on a training course introduced me to a more spiritual approach to goal setting - which at first seemed really woowoo - but for me, it's been just what I needed.


More on that next time.



The Positive Imperfect Parent

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New look to the Filberry website!

Posted on 1st October, 2017

Here at Filberry Family HQ, I've spent the last 48 hours completely revamping the website.  I hope you like it!  Take a look and let me know if you find a glitch!


Here's how I feel now! 




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